The "Pride Problem" and North Carolina Social Security Disability

October 16, 2011, by Michael A. DeMayo

North Carolina social security disability beneficiaries often struggle with the “pride problem.”

It is not that SSD beneficiaries don’t want support or help or resources or opinions. But when friends, neighbors, and possibly even children ask questions or offer opinions or services, SSD beneficiaries may demur out of propriety or pride.

In a twisted sense, this is an act of empowerment. The basic principles of human psychology suggest reasons why someone who is hurt or sick enough to need North Carolina social security disability might turn down sincere offers of help from friends, family members, and other resources. When you’ve lost your health, suffered financial setbacks, and experienced other bad news, you need to regain control over your environment.

The human need for control is a very central and powerful need.

When we lose the ability to make decisions about our care, our environment, our finances, etc., we feel agitated, angry, and generally horrible. To escape from those feelings, we often take actions that ultimately fail to protect our best interests. We may intellectually recognize the futility of doing things like telling our kids that everything is “fine” when in fact they are far from fine. But even if we recognize that our behavior is fundamentally dysfunctional, we often override our better judgment out of emotional resistance.

It’s important to recognize that this emotional resistance comes from a real, human place – and it all ties back into the very human need for control.

The question then is how to satisfy both needs – how do you meet your needs for help while honoring your need for control and autonomy? Obviously, there is not an easy answer. But if you start thinking in these terms — looking at your resistance to getting help as a dysfunctional attempt at empowering yourself — you might be surprised at the creativity of the solutions that you develop.

To get the help you need to make progress with your case, connect with a North Carolina social security disability law firm.

More web resources:

The Need for Help

The Need for Autonomy